Surging Rifts: a ME & SoaSE crossover story
by Hooahguy
Summary: This is a crossover fanfic for Mass Effect and Sins of a Solar Empire. Enjoy!
1. Prologue

_Author's note: This fanfic is Mass Effect themed, but using the game Sins of a Solar Empire with the Distant Stars mod. It is based off my current SoaSE game, so events which are happening in the fanfic are happening in my game as well. I tried to keep Mass Effect-related stuff on a somewhat basic level (and I embellished a few things, but nothing serious) to keep those who did not play Mass Effect 1 & 2 (If you did not, you should do so right away!) out of the dark. Even so, a basic knowledge of the Mass Effect story will be extremely helpful. For those who don't know, there is a Mass Effect wiki online, so if you don't know about something, for instance, what Mass Relays are, just look it up. Likewise, there is a wiki about SoaSE so if there is a reference to something in SoaSE that you do not know, look it up: this fanfic is best read by someone who knows something about the Mass Effect story as well as about SoaSE. _

_I've written fanfics for other games, but this is my first SoaSE and Mass Effect-related fanfic, and as always, comments and constructive criticism is welcomed. Enjoy!_

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**Prologue **

It's the year 2198; a decade after the Reaper threat was eradicated. Commander Kirk Shepard, now Admiral Kirk Shepard, is head of the Alliance Home Fleet, the most powerful fleet of Alliance warships in the galaxy. Shepard took over for Admiral Steven Hackett after the Reaper War, who tragically perished in the fighting when he courageously plowed his badly damaged flagship, the SSV Hamburg, into the Reaper known as Harbinger, destroying both himself and Harbinger (Hackett's reported last words were "I know you feel this, you f***er"). The destruction of Harbinger forced the remaining Reapers to retreat into Dark Space.

Since the Reapers left, the entire galaxy has been changed. The Mass Relays have been destroyed, and with the help of a coalition of Council scientists, headed by Mordin Solus (one of Shepard's former teammates), an alternate way of space travel developed: phase lanes. These phase lanes connected the entire galaxy; it also trapped any remaining Reapers in Dark Space, since it was discovered that the Mass Relays were also homing beacons for the Reapers.

The Citadel, center of the Galactic community, was also changed. As did the Protheans (the advanced organic species that were wiped out by the Reapers before the dawn of Humanity), the Council races worked tirelessly to genetically rewrite the Keepers (a mysterious race of aliens who maintained the Citadel) to ensure that they would never re-activate the Citadel Mass Relay again, which would enable the Reapers to return. The Protheans had done the same, but their research left security gaps. The new research left nothing that the Reapers could exploit. The remaining Reapers were trapped in Dark Space forever.

The new Council members are now much more aware of possible threats to the galactic community, especially since the former Council was accused of dismissing the claim that the Reapers even existed, as a famous extranet meme proved. When the Reapers did show up, the public outrage was so fierce that the former Council members had no choice but to step down.

While most of these changes were for the betterment of the galactic community, some changes were not as beneficial. A new age gave rise to new enemies. Well, not so new. The new enemy is the Advent, an evolution of the Geth— a race of machines built by the Quarians to be slaves, only to rise up and overthrow their Quarian masters. But contrary to popular belief, most Geth are not hostile. In fact, a Geth army led by a Geth platform called Legion (also one of Kirk's former squad members) fought side-by-side with Council and Alliance forces to defeat the Reapers.

The Geth who were hostile were really part of a splinter group of Geth. When this group began to worship the Reapers and the Reaper called Sovereign, the other Geth tried to subdue the "Heretics," since the other Geth knew how dangerous the Reapers really were. But there were too many Heretics to subdue, so Legion and the other Geth went into hiding in the Perseus Veil, only to surface when the Reapers arrived.

Once the Reapers were defeated, the remaining Heretics were in chaos. They had lost any sense of leadership, for they worshipped the "Old Machines," which is what they called the Reapers, as a god and as their leader. So they evolved. They became self-sufficient. They began to manufacture more of their own. They also acquired the ability to speak, which was something previously only non-Heretic Geth had. These new Geth named themselves the Advent, as if they were the ones who were to bring the dawn of a new age onto the galaxy. They began to manufacture more fleets of warships, and soon they were raiding colonies and ambushing Council and Alliance patrols. It wasn't long before they would be able to mount large offensives.

Recognizing the Advent threat, the Alliance and the Council has sent Shepard and the Home Fleet to patrol and repel any Advent incursions in the Sofock sector, while Council fleets patrolled the Berilis sector.

That is where our story begins.

* * *

"I want a sit-rep on the situation near the Minuteman Station." ordered Admiral Shepard.

Things were going well for Kirk Shepard. He was an Admiral onboard the TDN Miranda, his flagship, a Kol class battleship which was named after his wife, Miranda Shepard (formerly known as Miranda Lawson). They had two kids, both boys, back on Earth, with one on the way (Miranda was hoping for a girl). As soon as the baby was born, he would take a furlough and rejoin his wife back on Earth for a few months.

Sometimes he worried that Miranda would have trouble taking care of all the kids— after all, Miranda wasn't exactly the most patient of people— but he reassured himself. Miranda told him that Samara, the Asari Justicar, and one of their former teammates, was there to help on a regular basis. After she helped take down the Collector base with Kirk and Miranda, she decided to lead a simpler life, and settled down as a nanny for Miranda and Kirk.

Miranda worked as an assistant to Kirk's longtime friend, Liara T'soni, also known as the Shadow Broker. Liara, who worked on a ship in the volatile atmosphere of the planet Hagalaz, needed intel on Earth, and that was Miranda's job. Miranda had her own network of informants and agents, and she would report to Liara about whatever Liara wanted to know, including how the Shepard kids were doing.

As Kirk's mind wandered, an ensign brought him the sit-rep he wanted. He shook himself from his thoughts and concentrated on the task at hand.

"Jax, set a course for the planet Yasuda, in the Atcus system. I want to be close to the Minuteman Station if the Advent attack."

Jax Linder was the TDN Miranda's XO. The Minuteman station was the former base of Cerberus, an Alliance black-ops organization that temporarily went rogue, then rejoined the Alliance when the Reapers attacked. Kirk and Miranda used to work for Cerberus, but after the Reaper attack, the Alliance disbanded Cerberus, but kept the Minuteman Station as a mobile forward operating base that also served as a science station to conduct weapon testing. It was there that the Kol's upgraded version of the Thanix Cannon was developed.

"Yes sir! By the way sir, Joker wants to see you on the bridge."

Ah yes, Joker. Joker was with Kirk since Kirk first became a Spectre for the Council, back in the Saren days. His bones were tough now after years of medication and therapy, strong enough to maintain a relationship with Tali, who, according to Joker, "liked it rough." Just when you get to know someone…

Kirk walked to the bridge.

"Yes Joker?"

"Sir, we may need new PTS drives in the bottom thrusters. I think they are beginning to wear out. The new phase lane technology is really taxing the system."

"Is that it? You could have just put an order with the Requisition Officer."

"True, but I just love seeing your face so much that I had to personally call you."

"I'm touched Joker, touched. Now what did you really want to talk about?"

"Well sir, I'm worried about Legion. He isn't his usual robotic self lately. He seems bent out of shape over something"

"Really? You're worried about Legion? I'll go talk to him, see if his failed "courtship" of EDI is getting him down."

EDI was the ship's AI, transferred from Kirk's previous command, the Normandy SR2.

EDI piped in.

"The relationship between Legion and I is strictly professional. I have made that clear to him as a response to the 11,182,356 messages he has sent me in the past week."

Kirk grinned, for he knew that EDI could be quite a tease for Legion. Poor Legion, he deserved better.

"Admiral, we really need a mute button for EDI. Maybe it would giver her some time to reflect on her relationship with Legion. Anyhow, if you could check up on Legion that would be great. Tali was also worried, you know, her being Quarian and everything. At least they were able to put aside their differences and work together."

"It's nice to see Quarians and Geth working together," Kirk replied. "Maybe one day the Geth will let the Quarians back to their home world."

Joker paused for a minute, then asked,

"Admiral, do you ever miss the Normandy SR2?"

The SSV Normandy SR2 (the Normandy SR1 was destroyed in a Collector attack many years ago) was now in a museum on the Citadel, a relic of the war with the Collectors and the Reapers. Since the new generation of Alliance ships, the TDN line, was introduced after the Reaper War, there was no need for the SSV line of ships, so the Council, in an act of gratitude, put the SSV Normandy SR2 on display.

"I do, I'll admit it. I mean, that's where I first realized my love for Miranda, and that's where you and Tali also found an attraction to each other. It was a ship of memories, that's for sure. I remember when I first woke up Grunt, he almost killed me! Fun times, fun times. And all those times I would head down to Zaeed's room and listen to his endless survival stories. His "My buddies and I went for a drink on the Citadel one night and in the morning only I was left alive" story never got old!"

"What did happen to Grunt and Zaeed?"

"I don't know about Zaeed. After we blew up the Collector base he dropped off the map. Some say he's the new leader of the Blue Suns. Some say he just flies around Omega, dodging asteroids for the hell of it, half hoping to be hit and blow up. Hell of a retirement plan. Grunt right now is on Tuchanka, learning the ways of Krogan leadership, more specifically the ways of head-butting, from Wrex."

"Good for Grunt! I always liked Wrex; hopefully Grunt will be just like him."

"I hope so too. Now, I'd better head down to see what's up with Legion."

"See ya Commander— I mean, Admiral! Damn, I need to stop saying 'commander.'"

Kirk went down to the AI Core where Legion worked.

"Legion? Joker said you wanted to talk to me."

"Shepard-Admiral. I have an urgent matter to talk to you about. I have picked up intel through information sharing sessions with another Geth platform that strongly suggest that the Advent are massing for an attack on the Minuteman Station. Implications for organic species could be major. I got this information 24 hours ago but you were busy with other matters so I had to act erratically to get your attention. Apparently I got Joker's attention instead. Good enough for this platform, my goal has been reached."

"Thank you Legion. Incidentally, Alliance intel reports hinted at the same thing. And you did not have to act erratically to get my attention; you could have just gone up to my cabin and knocked at my door."

"Shepard-Admiral. My reports are not just hinting at such an attack. My reports say that such an attack is an extremely highly probability. Calculations show a 97.8461% probability of an attack within the next 48 hours. Also, I did go up to your room but I did not want to disturb your vid session with Miranda. It would seem inconsiderate, as you organics would call it."

'Thank you Legion, I appreciate your intel. I will notify the fleet to mobilize immediately."

"Good luck, Shepard-Admiral."

"By the way Legion, when you said "act erratically," what did you mean?"

"Shepard-Admiral, I did the 'robot' dance, as you organics call it."

Kirk chuckled as he left the AI Core and headed to the Combat Information Center (CIC).

"Jax!"

"Yes Admiral Shepard?"

"Sound battle stations. We're putting the fleet on alert."


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Following Alliance protocol, Shepard convened on the TDN Miranda a council of the other capital ship commanders in the fleet: Commander Keravanos, of the TDN Athena, an Akkan-class battlecruiser; Commander Hetery, of the TDN Krosus, a Marza-class dreadnought; Commander Teykal, of the Eighth Carrier Wing which accompanied the Home Fleet, consisting of a trio of Sova-class carriers: the TDN Peresov, the TDN Proteus, and the TDN Numenia; Commanders Emerton and Fredrickson, who commanded the Dunov-class support battlecruisers TDN Achronus and TDN Aceron; and Commanders Tappentil and Hackett, who commanded the Kol-class battleships Krasev and TDN Logonis. Commander James Hackett, who commanded the TDN Logonis, was the son of the deceased Admiral Steven Hackett.

Shepard looked down at his watch. It was 2300, military time. 11 o'clock PM back where Miranda was, in New York City. He sighed, and then looked back up. All eyes were on him.

"Gentlemen," Shepard began. "We all have read the latest intel reports from both the Alliance and our Geth allies."

Commander Keravanos cut in.

"Yes, we all have. Get to the point- time is running out, if you will pardon the clichéd statement."

"If you wouldn't have interrupted I would have gotten to it. Now be quiet and let me speak, Commander."

Shepard and Keravanos were constantly at odds. After Admiral Hackett died, they both were in competition to replace Hackett. But a tragic incident under Commander Keravanos's command made sure that Shepard was chosen as the replacement. A year prior, a small fleet that Commander Keravanos was commanding in the Adelhole system opened fire on what they thought was an Advent cruiser. As it turned out, it was a Turian cruiser that was carrying salvaged part from an Advent ship on it. For an unknown reason, the IFF system on Keravanos's cruiser identified the Turian cruiser as Advent, possibly because of the Advent parts on the cruiser. The resulting attack caused Human/Turian relations to become extremely tense, but after apologies and reparations were made, all was forgiven, though Commander Keravanos was assigned blame. The incident, called the Adelhole Incident, coupled with Shepard's exemplary service career, pretty much eliminated Commander Keravanos from any chance to replace the deceased Admiral Hackett. Keravanos has held a deep grudge against Shepard ever since.

"Now then," continued Shepard, "we need a plan to approach this situation. Scouts report a sizable Advent fleet massing at the other end of the phase lane into the Minuteman sector."

Admiral Hetery spoke up.

"Admiral, do we have an estimation of Advent numbers?"

"Yes, in fact we do. The Advent have twelve capital ships. Nothing we can't handle, but we do have to look out for their Revelation-class battlecruisers, which they have two of. The problem with the Revelations is the fact that they have technology that can temporarily disable the weapons systems, called WDS by our forces, of an enemy ship. We need a way to get rid of them without having to get in close with our ships, risking them to the WDS of the Revelations."

Commander Emerton offered a suggestion.

"Sir, we have forty Javelis Missile Frigates in the fleet. We could use them to take down the Revelations from a distance, and then go in hot with the rest of the fleet."

"Good point Emerton, but the Advent have almost forty Destra-class cruisers in their fleet. Exposing the Javelis's to them would be disastrous."

Commander Tappentil also offered a suggestion.

"Sir, since intel reports say that the Advent are still massing for attack, I say we do a pre-emptive strike. Maybe if we are lucky they will be unprepared for a defensive battle, giving us an easy victory."

"Good idea," Shepard replied,"but that doesn't solve the problem with the Revelations."

Just then, a Turian walked into the room.

"If I may offer a suggestion…"

It was Garrus Vakarian, one of Kirk's closest and most trusted friends. He had been close with Shepard for almost a decade and a half. Now Garrus was the commander of the Alliance Marines on the TDN Miranda. Every capital ship had a contingent of Alliance Marines, and while usually an Alliance officer was commanding them, Shepard insisted that Garrus be in command of the Marines on the TDN Miranda.

"Lieutenant Garrus, you were not invited to this meeting," interjected Commander Keravanos, rising from his seat. "If you wanted to suggest something you should have waited until this meeting was over. You are not a commander of a ship and you should not even be on this one- you're a Turian, not a Human."

Shepard rose from his seat in anger.

"Commander! If I wanted to let you speak your mind about who I have on this ship, then I would have asked for your opinion! But let me tell you that Garrus Vakarian is the finest infantry commander I know, better than most Alliance commanders are, and his tactical appraisals are always spot-on. Now sit down and shut up before I throw you out of the airlock!" Shepard took a deep breath. "Now Garrus, please proceed with your suggestion. I apologize for my subordinate's rudeness."

Commander Keravanos grumbled something about Alliance protocol and sat down.

Garrus nodded at Kirk and continued.

"Thank you Admiral. As I was about to say, it is reasonable to say that the crews on the Revelations would not fire upon small transport ships, especially if there is an enemy fleet arriving at the same time. They would be concentrating on calibrating their guns to meet the threat of our capital ships, cruisers, and frigates, so I think it's a fair assumption to say that they would not open fire on a small troop transport. So I am suggesting that we send Marines to attack the ship and disable their WDS from the inside, which will allow our ships to destroy the Revelations without risking having their guns disabled."

"Garrus, that's practically a suicide mission!" objected Shepard.

"Sir, they said the same thing about the Collector base mission, yet we all got out alive."

Shepard paused for a bit.

"Fair enough. So what did you have in mind for this approach?"

"Well Sir, we send a team to each of the two Revelation-class ships. They will board, fight their way to the control center, and then disable it. If possible, we can sabotage their whole system, and then get out as fast as possible before the wrath of the Home Fleet comes down on us, as well as on the Revelations."

"Sounds good, but how would our teams know where the control center is on a Revelation?"

EDI popped up from her port at the center of the table.

"I have accessed Asari and Turian intelligence reports and have downloaded a schematic of the Revelation to your omni-tools. This should help you navigate the Revelation and find the control center."

"Thank you EDI. Now Garrus, You will lead one of the teams, that's a given. Who should lead the other?" Shepard inquired.

"That's what I hope you would tell me Admiral" replied Garrus.

Commander Hetery offered his lieutenant from the TDN Krosus.

'Thank you commander, but is he experienced in operations such as this?" asked the Admiral.

"Well sir, he is not. In fact, I don't know of another lieutenant in this fleet who has enough experience to match up with Lieutenant Vakarian."

Commander Fredrickson spoke up.

"Well, there is one man who I know has enough experience to match Garrus's."

"Commander, then speak your mind" implored Shepard.

"Sir, that person is you. You served with Garrus for most of his career and led the team to destroy the Collector base, a mission most deemed impossible. You have the experience sir. Now the question is if you are willing to take the risk."

"I suppose I am. The men would be strengthened to see an Admiral fighting alongside them. Just because I'm getting older doesn't mean I can't fight like the best of them" agreed Shepard. "And Jax can take over while I am gone. I'm confident in his leadership abilities. The threat that I'll rip him apart if he lost my ship also helps."

Commander Teykal objected.

"Sir! If the mission fails—"

Interrupting, Commander Keravanos said, "Knowing Admiral Shepard, it won't fail. Admiral, I strongly agree with Commander Fredrickson. You should lead the second team, in order to ensure that the mission won't fail. With the Revelations out of the way, the rest of the fleet can take on the Advent without the fear of our guns going silent halfway through."

"Commander Keravanos, since you seem so eager for this plan, I'm sure you wouldn't mind taking the Athena in as support for this mission. Y'know, in case something goes wrong and the Miranda is busy keeping Destras off your tail. Maybe even keep your contingent of Marines in reserve in case the Admiral and I need backup." Garrus said.

"Fine by me" the Commander replied.

"Ok men, it's settled. Garrus and I will lead teams to take down the Revelation's weapons systems. Then the rest of the fleet will jump in to finish the job. Jax, tell the Marines to be in the briefing room at 0600 sharp. We're doing this."


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Shepard went up to his cabin. It was 23:42. He was surprised that the strategy meeting went so quickly and smoothly, save for Commander Keravanos's outburst towards Garrus.

He looked again at his watch. 11:42, New York time. Not too late to call Miranda, Shepard hoped.

He booted up the vid function on his omni-tool and put the call in.

She answered.

"Hi Kirk."

"Hey. I'm not calling too late, am I?" Shepard asked.

"No, you're not. I put the kids to bed a few hours ago, and Samara went home. I was just reading when you called."

Miranda was in bed, wearing her blue negligee; the one Kirk gave her for their second anniversary. Even with the baby bump, the outfit still looked fantastic on her.

"How are the kids?"

"They are fine, but missing their father, especially Marcus. But you should see how proud Jason is of you!"

Jason and Marcus were their sons. Jason was six, Marcus was three.

"Every day he boasts to his friends in kindergarten that his father is a famous admiral. The teacher says it's rude, but I think it's adorable. So, honey, what's up? You looked stressed."

"Just came from a strategy meeting with the commanders. Keravanos is being an ass again. The Advent are massing for an attack on the Minuteman station and we had to prepare. Just another day in the fleet, I guess."

Most Alliance Admirals were not allowed to discuss such things with loved ones, due to security concerns, but he got Miranda a security clearance so thankfully he could discuss such things with her. It certainly helped him cope with some of the decisions he had to make.

"Shouldn't be too much of a concern," assured Miranda. "The Home Fleet, according to Alliance ads and according to my intel, is one of the strongest in the galaxy."

"Well, there is one aspect that worries me."

"Which is?"

"They have Revelation-class ships. Those always wreak havoc on our ships so we had to find a way to disable them without risking our bigger ships. We decided on sending a team to each of the two Revelation class ships that intel reported were there. The teams will board, fight their way to the control center, disable the weapon systems, and then get out before it blows up. Garrus is leading one of the teams."

Miranda smiled and said,

"I'm sure they will be just fine, especially with Garrus leading them. Who is leading the second team?"

"I am."

"What?" Miranda had a shocked look on her face. "You are the admiral of the fleet, Kirk! How could they suggest that you do this?"

"They said that because of my familiarity with 'suicide missions' that I was the only officer who had the experience to match Garrus's."

"I'm surprised that there is no other Alliance lieutenant who can do this mission."

"Well, according to the commanders, there is no one else."

Miranda paused for a few seconds.

"That doesn't make sense, but I'm sure you will do just fine, honey. They said that we would all die during the Collector base mission but we all came out alive."

"Garrus said the same thing."

"Great minds think alike," Miranda said with a smug look on her face.

Kirk laughed. "Oh Miri, what would I do without you?"

"I wonder that myself, especially how you are coping being on a ship without me to do your laundry."

Kirk laughed again.

"Well, that's what ensigns are for, my dear."

Miranda smiled.

"Kirk, anything else on your mind before I go to bed?"

"Actually, Miri, I do have something on my mind. It has been plaguing me ever since I took command of this fleet. To tell you the truth, I don't feel so good about the coming mission. In fact, it seems like I get a queasy feeling in my gut whenever I make a decision, as if I'm dreading the results. The results are always good, thankfully, but still, I dread. I don't show my fear, of course; that would be weakness on my part and the others depend of me not showing any. What's wrong with me? I've never had these feelings until I became Admiral."

"Kirk, it's completely normal to fear the outcome of your commands, especially if you are not in complete control of the situation."

"I'm dreading this mission especially since I'll be on it. What if I made the wrong decision in sending the Marines to assault the Revelations? What if I have condemned myself, Garrus and the rest of the men to a certain death?"

"My love, I am sure the decision you have made was the correct one. I, and the entire fleet, have complete faith in you, as do Garrus and the men under your command. Now stop worrying and get some sleep. The mission is for tomorrow, right?"

"It is- briefing is set for 0600."

"Then you have a big day tomorrow, and you need rest."

"I suppose you're right. Good night Miranda. Tell Liara I say hi."

"Will do. Good night Kirk. I love you."

"And I love you too, Miri."

Kirk shut off his omni-tool. He stared at the picture of him and Miranda that was by the bedside. It was a picture of them on vacation on Illium after the Collector base mission. It was now almost 2400. Damn, still over six hours to go until the briefing. He looked at the picture again. His talk about his anxiety with Miranda was helpful in easing his fears, but the apprehension was still there. He needed to talk to Garrus, if he was still awake.

Kirk headed down to armory, where Garrus could be found until late hours of the night before an operation, repeatedly calibrating the weapons in the armory.

"Garrus?"

"Yes Shepard?"

"Don't you want to get some sleep?"

"Turians only need four hours of sleep at most to be functional. I figured that I'd make sure our guns were calibrated. We will need them to be fully serviceable for tomorrow."

"I see. Anyhow, I need to talk to you. About tomorrow's mission."

"I understand Shepard, the operation is extremely risky. Even more so than the Collector base mission."

"That's why I'm so nervous about this operation. There is no Joker in a heavily armored frigate waiting for us to finish the job, jump in, and rush off. If our transport is damaged en route, then it's a one-way trip for us. And considering that the troop transport isn't exactly as heavily armored as the Normandy SR2 was, one hit might be all it takes to space us. The thought of that alone is enough to terrify me. And the thought that my decision might have condemned 200 of my soldiers scares me even more than the fact that I might die."

Garrus nodded his head.

"I agree completely. This mission also petrifies me. As you said, the thought of flying into the entire Advent fleet in a lightly armored ship is nothing but terrifying. But as I said, timing is essential. I have every faith in the commanders. Well, except Keravanos, but that's beside the point. I don't think he would want the death of Admiral Shepard, hero of practically the entire damn universe, on his record. Look, Shepard- when I was heading my mercenary group in the Terminus Systems, I was terrified every single time we went out. Now how do you think I felt about commanding soldiers after Sidonis betrayed my team?"

Kirk looked at Garrus with understanding eyes. He knew how much the loss of his team shook him up, and he knew how far Garrus went to get his revenge.

Garrus continued.

"I refused to take command of others for a while. I became a freelancer on Omega, as you so well know. But it was you who shook me out of that when you, Miranda, and Grunt blasted through those mercenary teams and recruited me. It was then that I realized how much I missed commanding and realized that what happened, or what can happen, usually isn't left up to you. I had no idea that Sidonis would betray me, resulting in the death of everyone on my team but me. It was not my fault. You told me that yourself. You see, command really only extends so far. There is an illusion of command in the heat of battle, but it's up to the soldiers to follow the plan, and adapt if necessary. A commander is there to inspire and lead the way. Battle is chaos, nothing more, nothing less. I have every faith in you, Admiral. I trust that you will do your duty tomorrow, just as you trust that I will do mine."

"Thank you Garrus, I needed that. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Wait, Admiral, one more thing."

"Yes, Garrus?"

"Do you have a preference of assault rifles?"

Kirk laughed. Garrus used to ask him this before every mission. Shepard's favorite rifle loadout was the X-96 Mattock Heavy Rifle, with the X-76 Revenant LMG on his back for heavy support. Kirk liked to have a lot of firepower.

"Just the usual Garrus, just the usual."

Garrus smiled.

"See you at the briefing tomorrow, Shepard."

Kirk walked back to his cabin. He got undressed and got into bed. Two doses of reassurance were good, but still….

Shepard took out a pen and some paper and began writing.

_Dear Miranda, my dearest love..._

It wasn't until 0130 that Kirk got to sleep, though it was a fitful sleep at best.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 **

Kirk woke up at 0515, showered, and got dressed. He looked at the picture of him and Miranda one last time, and then headed down to the briefing room. A few of the commanders were there already. Commander Teykal came over to him.

"Sir, I just want to let you know that two dozen of my squadrons have volunteered to act as a diversion for your assault. Also, Electronic Warfare System (EWS) bombers will target the Revelations to hinder Advent tracking systems."

"Good to hear, commander. We will need all the diversions we can get."

"Hopefully your squadrons and the rest of the fleet will be enough."

Also, sir, intel says that the ship you are supposed to go after is called the Direnus. The ship Garrus is going after is called the Luminescent."

"Thank you commander."

The marines began to file into the room. Most looked nervous, and they had a right to be. The prospect of flying through the Advent fleet in what might as well be an aluminum can is anything but appealing. But there were, of course, the gung-ho types that were boasting about the heroic acts that they would do, but Shepard knew that they would break first. They always broke first.

It was 0600- time to brief the men.

"Gentlemen. I hope you are ready for this mission, for it will be a tough one. Most of you have not participated in such types of operations until now. It will be a hit and run. We bust in, get to their control center, shut it down, and bust out. Operation time can't be longer than a half-hour; otherwise we risk ourselves getting caught on the ships when our fleet opens fire on them. We have just received intel that the names of the two targets are the Luminescent and the Direnus. Team one, led by me, will go after the Direnus. Team two, led by Lieutenant Garrus, will go after the Luminescent. Commander Teykal of the Eighth Carrier Wing will be providing squadrons to cover our troop transports and possibly be our diversion so we can get there. A schematic of a Revelation-class ship have been downloaded to your omni-tools, and can be accessed through your HUDs in battle, so there should be no issues with soldiers getting lost. Also, there is no air on Advent ships so don't even think about taking off your breather masks. Are there any questions?"

A private raised his hand.

"Sir, how much ammo should we bring?"

"Private, bring as much as you can carry, and make sure it's disruptor ammunition. The Advent are synthetics, not humans, so we shouldn't have to deal with any organic foes, unless there are merc teams on board, which will make this mission all the more enjoyable."

The men laughed, easing the tension in the room.

"Alright men, are there any last questions?"

There were none.

"Alright, we board the ships at 0700 sharp. Good luck."

The men got up and headed towards the armory. Shepard went to see Garrus.

"Garrus, is everything set?"

"Yes Admiral, everything is in order. Weapons calibrated, ammo pouches filled, grenades activated."

"Very good. I just hope everything falls into place today."

"So do I commander, so does everyone. Everyone just has to remember their training and we will be fine."

"That sounded like it came from a corny action movie, Garrus." Shepard laughed.

"It might have, but it rings true all the same. Well, we'd better load up onto the ships. See you on the other side, Shepard."

"Yeah, you too, Garrus."

Shepard got his gear on. His body armor was fitted on. His Mattock rifle and Revenant LMG were strapped to his back. Ammo pouches strapped to his arms and legs. Finally, his N7 helmet fitted with a breather mask.

He went over to Jax, who just finished talking to an ensign about proper battle procedures.

"Jax, I am confident in your abilities to command this ship in battle. Remember, if you lose the ship I will personally kill you. Good luck."

Jax smiled.

"Of course sir, of course."

"One last thing Jax."

"Yes, Admiral?"

"In case I don't come back from this mission, give this letter to my wife."

Kirk handed Jax a sealed letter, addressed to Miranda.

"Admiral, I'm not taking this. You will come back from this alive, I'm sure of it."

"Jax, do as I say. In case I don't come back, give this to my wife. I will not repeat myself again."

"Yes sir, I understand. Good luck, we are all counting on you."

"Thank you Jax, see you in a few."

Kirk went down to the docking bay, where about 200 Alliance Marines were milling about, fidgeting nervously as they waited for the order to board the transport ships. Kirk took a look at the ships that were to take them. He saw four Orion T-274S's on deck. The Orion T-274S was the latest in Alliance combat transport vehicles, capable of transporting 50 soldiers and travel in space, which made it ideal for this operation.

He looked over the profile of the Revelation-class ships one last time. The armament of a Revelation was impressive. On the front, two heavy plasma beam turrets, a WDS targeting bolt system, and eight anti-aircraft turrets. On the sides were four heavy pulse laser turrets and another six anti-aircraft guns. Hopefully the squadrons would provide a sufficient diversion for the assault group, but still, Kirk worried. The Orion T-274S could easily withstand small-arms fire, and it could even withstand a shoulder-mounted rocket, but he doubted it could withstand the heavy weaponry of an Advent capital ship.

A sergeant tapped his shoulder.

"Sir? The men are waiting for you to address them."

Kirk got up on a nearby crate. Two hundred pairs of eyes plus god knows how many more pairs of service crewmen's eyes were on him once more.

"I was thinking of making whole long speech about courage and duty for this moment, but I think what Lieutenant Garrus said to me earlier would be more effective- everyone just has to remember their training and we will be fine. I don't need to talk to you about courage because I am sure that every one of you will show it in the coming mission. And if everyone remembers his training then duty won't be a problem either. So remember the mission objectives, stick with your squad, cover your buddy, leave no man behind, and we will all come back home alive. Good luck and Godspeed to you all! Ooo-rah!"

The men cheered as Shepard stepped down from the crate. The men were beginning to board the transports. He read the passenger list that was posted on the wall and saw that he was assigned to the first of two transports assigned to his team. He began to head towards his assigned ship.

The flight deck officer came over to Shepard.

"Sir, there has been a last minute change with regards to who goes on each transport, and we didn't have time to update the list on the wall. You have been reassigned to the second transport for your team."

"Sounds good to me, thank you." replied Shepard.

Kirk boarded the second transport. He saw the name "Flaming Flora" on the nose of the transport. Stepping inside, he saw forty-nine marines, head to toe in gear and weaponry. They all looked worried, yet at the same time happy that the admiral was on board with them.

"If Admiral Shepard is on board it means we will survive for sure!" he heard one private say to his friend.

Shepard walked to the cockpit of the ship to meet the pilot.

"Which one of you is the pilot?" Kirk asked jokingly.

The navigation officer pointed at the man who was obviously the pilot. The pilot turned around and introduced himself.

"Hello Admiral, hope you don't mind this, but I'm just a trainee, and they gave me this mission as a trial run for me."

Kirk raised his eyebrows.

"Just kidding, Admiral, just kidding. Sam Karenish- one of the best combat transport pilots in the Alliance! I won't let you down today sir, I promise."

"I have every confidence in your abilities, Sam."

Sam reminded Kirk of Joker, or at least his sense of humor did.

Kirk walked back to the hold, where the marines were sitting. Kirk found a seat next to a private who looked especially nervous.

"What's your name, soldier?" he asked.

"Ben, sir. Private Ben Teller."

"Where are you from, Ben?"

"Illium, sir."

"Illium? My wife and I took a vacation there a while back. Beautiful place. But don't worry private, I'll make sure you, as well as everyone on this mission, gets home safely, and that's a promise."

Shepard could see that the private began to ease up.

"Thank you sir, we are all honored to be serving with you on this mission."

"Actually private, I'm more honored to be serving with you young men. I don't get many chances to do this. I spend most of my time in the command center arguing with old farts, and I'll tell you, it's pretty damn boring."

Ben and a few others laughed.

"I'm an old soldier, Ben. You and the rest of this team are the future of the Alliance. I'm just here to make sure you pick up the reins in the smoothest way possible. I am sure you will all do just fine today."

"Thank you, Admiral."

Kirk could tell that the private had eased up considerably.

Sam got on the intercom.

"Welcome aboard, my name is Sam Karenish and I'll be your captain today. As usual, this is a non-smoking flight, at least until we are fired upon, in which case we adopt a policy of 'light 'em if you got 'em.' In the case of a water landing there are life vests under your seats. Sit back, relax, and enjoy your flight. On a more serious note, we will be phase jumping in five minutes, so please fasten your safety belts. Thank you for flying Flaming Flora Airlines!"

The marines laughed as they nervously fastened their safety belts and prepared for the ride.

The charge-up for the phase jump was smooth and painless, which is what could be expected from the TDN Miranda. Joker and Tali made sure the TDN Miranda was in perfect shape.

"Admiral, how long is the phase jump?" one marine asked.

"I was told it's about ten minutes, fifteen maximum" Shepard replied.

The ride seemed longer than it was. Every minute that passed seemed like an eternity.

Finally the TDN Miranda came out of Phase Space.

Sam got on the intercom.

"30 seconds until we launch!"

Shepard and the marines gripped their weapons tight as the "Flaming Flora" launched from the docking bay and sped towards the Advent fleet.

Looking out of the small window next to his seat, Kirk could see the other three transports next to them. He could see the enemy fleet rapidly approaching. Just then, three strike craft buzzed past the transport.

_Here we go, _Shepard thought.

He unbuckled and went to the cockpit.

"How are things up here?" he asked.

"See for yourself Admiral.

He looked out the front window. He could see heavy pulse lasers and beams going every which way from Alliance and Advent ships. He saw a couple Destra Cruisers blow up, and then he saw an Alliance Kodiak Heavy Cruiser go down in flames.

_Shit, I hope this battle goes well_ thought Shepard.

He heard Alliance EWS bombers fly overhead and bomb the Advent with weapons that targeted the electronic targeting systems on the ships.

He saw flak from the Direnus begin to go up around the transport. But the flak was way off target, thanks to the EWS bombers. Then he saw a lone squadron of Advent fighters in the distance. They seem to have spotted the transports, for they turned onto an intercept trajectory.

"Shit! Evasive maneuvers!" Sam said as he took the transport into a dive.

A voice came over the comm system. 

"This is 'Maverick' of the Fifth Gunship Strike Wing, at your service. We see you've got a fighter problem."

"Yes Maverick, we do! Get those Advent fighters away from us!" yelled Sam.

The gunships flew overhead and engaged the enemy fighters. It was almost no contest. The gunships ripped apart the Advent fighters. The cockpit crew cheered as the gunships resumed positions above the transports.

"Yaaa-hooo! I feel the need. The need for speed!" Maverick shouted into the mic.

"Thank you Maverick, we owe all you flyboys a drink when we get back. And you should really lay off those 80's movies!" Sam laughed into the mic.

Shepard could see the Revelations were coming up fast. He turned on his helmet comm system to speak to Garrus.

"Garrus, how are things there?"

"Just fine Admiral. These gunship squadrons are really helping."

The transports were joined by another two squadrons of Alliance fighters, just as another group of Advent fighters appeared. Maverick came on the radio.

"Don't worry fellas, we got you covered."

His squadron rose to meet the coming threat. As they did, another squadron of Advent fighters appeared below them.

"Shit!" Sam yelled again.

"This is Wild Boar Strike Wing, going to meet the-"

Sam saw a massive flak burst take down a good amount of Alliance fighters. The Direnus was maybe a minute away, so there was no time to fall back and wait for reinforcements to arrive. They had to go for it. Sam turned the ship in the direction of the Direnus's docking bay.

The remaining Alliance fighters fought with the Advent fighters, with neither gaining the upper hand. _At least the Advent fighters are too occupied to attack us_, thought Shepard. With the Direnus rapidly approaching, Shepard tuned on his helmet comm to the other half of his team, which was in another transport.

Just as he did, Shepard heard screams over his helmet comm.

"Status report! Now!"

Garrus came over the radio.

"Admiral, a flak burst got one of the transports. I checked in with the other half of my team and they checked in fine. I think the transport which was hit was the one carrying half of your team. I'm sorry sir; nothing could have been done about it. But if it makes you feel any better sir, my team is intact."

Shepard put his head in his hands as he sat down heavily. _Damn, this is not good, not good at all. What will I tell the men?_

"It's ok Garrus, We will just have to do the mission without them. Just tell your men to keep focused on the mission, and leave no man behind. Good luck."

"Yes sir, good luck to you too."

Shepard felt a cold chill run down his spine. He was originally assigned to that other transport. That could have been him. He felt very sick all of a sudden.

But there was no time to be sick.

"Admiral!" yelled Sam, trying to speak above the comm chatter that filled the cockpit as status reports were being flung around like snow at a snowball fight. "We are 30 seconds from impact with the Direnus! Tell your men to get ready to disembark!"

"Thank you Sam! You did great today! Just sit tight while we do our job, and make sure no harm comes to this ship!"

"Yes sir! I have already issued assault rifles to the crew to make sure that no Advent soldiers come near!"

"Good work Sam!

Shepard moved back to where the marines were.

"Ok marines! We are about to land on the Direnus! Get ready and make sure your breather masks are on! I wish you all the best of luck, and remember, leave no man behind! OOO-RAH!"

The marines replied with an enthusiastic "ooo-rah" as they got their gear together and got ready to go into action.

All of a sudden, they heard a massive crash as the transport violently landed on the flight deck of the Direnus, and the doors to the transport swung open.

"This is it! LET'S GO!"


	5. Chapter 4

_Author's note: This is my first real attempt at capturing a combat scenario in writing. I ask that if you can spare the time, please write a review of this chapter (or the whole fanfic if you would like) and tell me how I did, so I can use your feedback and improve such scenarios in the future. Thank you in advance!_

**Chapter 4**

As the doors of the transport swung open, the marines poured out onto the Direnus's flight deck.

There were a number of astonished Advent mechanics there. They were gunned down; after all, the team couldn't leave anyone on deck to harass the transports.

"Sir, where is the other half of the team?" a concerned marine asked, noticing the absence of the other transport.

Shepard chose his next words carefully.

"Marine, they are dead. The other transport was hit by a flak burst."

The marine sunk to his knees and began crying. "Zach was on that transport!"

Private Teller explained that Zach was the marine's brother.

Kirk, swallowing his fears of failure, had to get this marine back on his feet, and fast.

"I'm sorry for your loss marine, but now is no time to cry over your brother. You will have plenty of time to cry once the mission is over. Now get up and let's get some payback for your brother!"

The marine sniffed and got up. "Thank you sir, thank you."

Shepard led the group towards their objective, with Private Teller next to him.

Heading down the landing bay entrance, they came to a fork in the hallway. The directions that EDI gave them said to go left. They went left.

All of a sudden, a burst of gunfire is heard coming from the opposite end of the hallway.

"Contact!" yelled Shepard as he took cover. He aimed down the sights of the Mattock, took a deep breath, and took the head off an Advent trooper which was foolish enough to show itself. All around him, the marines were firing at the enemy, taking down Advent troopers with well-places bursts of gunfire.

"Clear! Let's move!"

They sprinted down the hallway.

Another Left.

More Advent.

More Gunfire.

More Advent deaths.

An Advent grenade went off among the men. Screams of pain filled the comm system.

"Sir, we have three men seriously injured!"

Shepard had to think for a few seconds. Such decisions came easier when he was younger and more secure.

"Leave four men with them, and take them back to the transport."

"Yes sir!"

They continued on.

A barricade manned by Advent troopers.

A hail of gunfire.

More marines went down.

Shouts for medics.

The men needed a decision from Shepard on what to do with the injured marines. A pit in Kirk's stomach arose.

"Leave them! We'll get them as we leave!" Shepard shouted.

"But sir! You told us to not leave anyone behind!"

"Do as I say marine! We will get them on our way back!"

It was a hard decision, but at least seven marines were injured and he couldn't afford to let any more men stay back. There were harder fights ahead, and they needed all the men they had.

Shepard turned from the situation at hand and saw a marine sobbing in a far corner. He recognized the marine as one of the ones who were bragging before the briefing about the courageous acts that they would do once in combat. _Figures,_ Kirk thought. _They always break first._

He ran over to the marine.

"Get up soldier! Get up and start fighting or I'll have you court-martialed!"

The marine got up slowly and staggered to the "front." As Shepard looked on, he saw the marine raise his rifle, and fire a few shots that went wild. _Maybe it was a mistake sending him to the front._ Then in what seemed to be a burst of adrenaline, the marine jumped out of cover, apparently to throw a grenade. He was promptly shot and killed. The grenade he threw exploded harmlessly five feet in front of the Advent barricade. _Okay, it was a mistake._

Shepard cursed himself for his thoughtlessness, but they had to push on. _The marine was weak,_ he told himself. _It wasn't my fault that he died. Or was it my fault? I told him to get to the front. Did I condemn him to death? _

Shepard drifted into a stupor as the weight of his decisions began to sink in. His every thought attacked him, as if every decision made in the past was coming back to haunt him. He saw a ghost. It was Kaiden, his old squadmate who volunteered to stay behind and guard the nuclear bomb on Virmire to make sure that Saren wouldn't defuse it. Kaiden died in the ensuing blast.

_Kaiden, I'm sorry I left you on Virmire to die! I'm so sorry, so sorry! No? No forgiveness? But you volunteered to stay behind! It's not my fault! It's not my fault! _

His mind screamed for mercy. He got none.

Shepard felt every neuron in his brain was trying to kill him. Every decision was coming back to haunt him. The ghosts of the factory workers he had to leave to die while chasing Vido, leader of the Blue Suns mercenary group. The ghosts of the hostages that he let die so he could kill Balak, an infamous Batarian pirate. The ghosts of the marines on the other transport which he was supposed to be on. A surging rift was developing within his mind.

_No! No! Make them stop!_

A bullet whizzed by his head, shaking him out of his trance.

_Relief. _

"Admiral! Get your head down! We're blowing the barricade!" a marine yelled.

A TSMR (Tactical Shoulder-Mounted Rocket) took care of the barricade, and they pressed on. The schematic that EDI provided showed that the only thing left in between them and the control center was the Advent equivalent of the CIC: the Tactical Appraisal Room, or TAR. It was quite large, but with a lot of cover.

The door was locked. Shepard called for some explosive charges to be brought forward.

Just then, a large explosion rocked the ship.

"That must be our ships firing on the Revelations! We need to get out of here fast!" yelled one marine.

The door blew open, and the marines stormed the room. The Advent on their side of the room were taken care of easily, but the ones on the far side weren't as easy to kill.

Shepard had to think fast. More Advent troopers were beginning to enter from the door on the far side of the room. They didn't have enough time or ammunition to hold them off forever. Shepard had to make another decision. Another pit in his stomach.

He pointed at a group of soldiers.

"You twelve go and get the door to the command center open!"

"But sir, the room is too hot!" one of the marines protested.

"No excuses marine! Do as I say!"

"Sir yes sir!"

Crouching over, they began to make their way to the command center entrance. Two of the marines went down, struck by Advent bullets.

_Shit, time for me to step in. _

He put away his Mattock, took out the Revenant, and began to fire at the Advent on the other side of the room.

The low, deep sound of the Revenant firing was almost soothing to his mind. He made his way to the group of ten marines struggling to get the explosives on the door and dodging bullets at the same time.

Shepard gave them covering fire as the marines fumbled with the explosives.

"Incoming!"

Shepard looked to his left to see an Advent trooper aiming a rocket at the group of marines.

A blinding flash.

The next moment he was on the ground. The marines at the door were either dead or seriously wounded.

_Oh no, no, no! What did I do? Did I cause their deaths too? I have too much blood on my hands as it is!_

He checked his suit for any damage or air leakage, but there was none. The door was open. The two dozen remaining soldiers were still holding, keeping the Advent from overwhelming the room.

Shepard ran into the control center. There were two Advent operators there. Shepard wavered. They were innocent, just operating the controls of the ship. They weren't even armed. No. They had to die. The mission called for it.

He shot them both, and then set explosive charges on the control panel.

He took cover, and then set them off. The heavy weapons systems of the ship went down, as the status screens showed. _Time to go._

Kirk left the room. The two dozen marines were still barely holding on. He tapped their shoulders, telling them to fall back to the transports.

He saw Private Teller. He was going strong, which was better than Shepard could say for himself.

"You did good Teller! Shepard shouted over the sound of gunfire. "Now let's go home!"

Teller turned to Kirk with a smile on his face.

A bullet.

It was as if Kirk could see it in the air as it flew towards its target.

He opened his mouth to scream at Teller to duck. But it was too late.

The bullet struck Teller in the head. Teller, with a heavy sigh, collapsed on the ground.

"Medic!" Shepard yelled. But it was no use. Teller was dead. Shepard sank to the ground, in shock. He couldn't believe it. He failed. Not in his mission, but in his word. He made a promise to Teller. He failed. Now Teller would be another ghost that would come and haunt him. Shepard tried to shake it off. He had to. The others were depending on him to get them out of there.

Shepard picked up Teller's body and slung it over his shoulder. He would keep his promise to Teller. He pulled out his pistol and began to make his way to the transport, turning around and getting off a random shot every now and then. The other marines were covering for him, and the ones who weren't providing covering fire for the group took bodies of fallen and injured comrades with them. A few more marines went down. They were down to just eighteen marines. Finally, they made it back to the ship. The transport looked in good shape; Sam and his crew had done their jobs.

He called out to a few crewmembers to help them take the bodies inside the transport.

"Come on admiral! We need to leave soon!" Sam yelled from the transport doors.

"No! I'm going back for more bodies!"

"No time sir!"

"Fuck that! I'm going!" yelled Shepard.

The remaining marines joined him.

The hallways were filled with Advent. Shepard took aim with his Revenant and opened fire. A few Advent went down. The rest, more surprised than anything else, retreated to stronger positions. Shepard and the marines moved forward and retrieved the bodies of the marines who fell in the hallways. Unfortunately, they could not go all the way to the TAR where those twelve marines fell. There were too many Advent there to justify the risk of going back. They would have to be left where they fell; hopefully the destruction of the Direnus would be a suitable substitute for a proper military burial.

As Kirk and the marines loaded the last bodies into the transport, they could feel the Direnus shake under the bombardment of Alliance ships. Now that the WDS was disabled, the powerful guns of the Alliance fleet were bearing down on the Revelations.

Shepard ran to the cockpit.

"Sir, are we good to go?" asked Sam.

"Sam, let's get the fuck off this ship."

Sam took the ship out of the docking bay at full speed.

Shepard looked back at the docking bay of the Direnus for the last time. He saw a swarm of Advent troopers gathering, wandering aimlessly, as if they had lost a sense of direction.

The "Flaming Flora" set a course for the TDN Miranda as a swarm of Alliance fighters provided cover for the transport.

Garrus came over the comm system.

"Shepard, just checking in. My team did well. We completed our mission with light casualties. And by the looks of things, it looks like you completed your mission as well."

He looked back at the Direnus. He could see fires raging on the ship. It was doomed. The Luminescent, which wasn't far away, blew up in a massive fireball, thanks to the work of Garrus's team. The Direnus followed soon after.

Mission complete.

"Good work Garrus, see you on the ship."

Shepard turned off his comm system and was silent for a long time as the transport flew through space. _God, I will look like such a failure when people learn that I lost most of my team, while Garrus lost almost nobody!_

Sam broke the silence.

"By the way sir, we lost two crewmembers while defending the ship."

"My condolences Sam, They were good people."

"They were. But the fact that they helped win a great victory will make it easier to tell their families."

_Shit!_ thought Kirk. _I'm going to have to do the same for the marines who died. How will I ever do that? How can I cause even more pain and suffering than I already have? _

Shepard walked back to where the survivors were sitting and where the casualties were laying. All was silent. Some were softly crying over the bodies of their friends. Others were just sitting, a dazed look on their face. He found Teller's body.

He sat down next to the body, and for the first time in a long time, Kirk cried.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

As the transport approached the TDN Miranda's flight deck, Kirk could see that the other transports were already there. A large number of crewmen were flocking to greet and congratulate Garrus's team.

As Sam began landing procedures, Kirk walked back to where the cargo area. Medics were able to save most of the injured marines on the way back, but five died from their wounds.

_Another five families to tell, and another five families to bring suffering upon_, thought Shepard. _Shit._

The doors opened to the transport. A cheer rose up from the crowd, but quickly died down when the crowd saw how few marines had returned alive. Shepard stepped out and looked over the crowd that had gathered. Many had a shocked look on their faces, some were crying. He ordered a few crewmembers nearby to help remove the bodies.

Shepard and the survivors began walking away from the transport. The crowd silently parted to make way for them.

A wave of exhaustion overcame Shepard, and he stumbled a bit from the immense pressure that he suddenly felt. A few crewmembers helped him get to his feet.

Jax came beside Shepard and put his arm around him.

"Come on, Admiral. You need rest."

Exhausted, Shepard nodded, and let Jax take him back to his cabin.

* * *

Shepard woke with Garrus and the ship's chief doctor, Doctor Coolick, standing by the side of the bed.

"Shepard, are you ok? You slept for almost thirty hours!" Garrus exclaimed.

"Let him rest," Doctor Coolick said. "He clearly had a rough time with this operation, and judging by the type of mission he led, I don't blame him for feeling physically and mentally exhausted."

"I'll let him rest Doc, of course, but he needs to know that the Alliance High Command will want to debrief us sooner rather than later."

Kirk sat up.

"No, its ok Doc, I'm fine. I just want some time alone before I head to that debriefing."

"Ok, see you later, Shepard."

Garrus and the Doctor left.

Kirk had to talk to Miranda.

He opened the vid function on his omni-tool.

"Kirk!"

"Miranda! You cannot tell how happy I am to see your beautiful face again!"

"Tell me about it, Kirk. I called you when the report came in of the victory, but you didn't answer. I was so worried! Then I called Garrus and he said that you were just resting."

"Glad to hear that you had some initiative. I didn't know you had it in you."

Miranda smiled.

"Very funny, Kirk. So, tell me, how did the mission go?"

_Oh lord, how do I tell something like this to Miri?_

Kirk took a deep breath.

"Not well Miri, not well at all."

Miranda frowned.

"What do you mean?"

Kirk proceeded to tell Miri about the mission. He told her about Private Teller. The second transport. The ghosts he saw. The marine who threw away his life because Kirk had yelled at him. The dozen marines he had practically condemned to death.

Kirk finished recounting the disaster of a mission that he had led. There were tears in his eyes.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence, Miranda spoke up.

"Kirk, you have to understand that their deaths were not your fault. It's combat, you know that. It's unpredictable by nature. You do not need to feel bad about what had happened. Private Teller's death was not your fault in any way. The second transport was hit by a flak burst— you had no control over that. And you shouldn't worry so much about that marine who you yelled at. You had to get that marine on his feet, and I don't blame you for being harsh. Think of what would have happened if you let him be. He would have stayed behind, possibly even captured. Now how would have that have looked, a marine being captured because he couldn't handle combat and had to stay behind? Rather, he gave his life trying to prove that he was a good marine! It will do his family proud when they hear from you that he gave his life throwing a grenade at Advent troops. You can leave out the part where the grenade exploded harmlessly. I am sure that his family would rather hear that he was a hero than hear that he was cowering in a corner when he died."

"What about those twelve marines? I sent them to the door while the room was still hot. Had I waited then maybe they would have survived!"

"Dear, time was running out. You said so yourself. You needed those doors open. Their deaths are a tragedy, but they are casualties of war. You cannot keep thinking that you can always get away with zero casualties. There will always be casualties. They are unavoidable."

"But Garrus…"

"Garrus? His team got lucky."

"What do you mean?" Kirk asked.

"You didn't read the post-battle report on the number of Advent troops on the Luminescent and Direnus?"

"No, I've been sleeping this whole time. What did it say?"

"The average Revelation-class ship has around 3,300 Advent on it. For this battle, the Luminescent had sent a large portion of their troops to the Direnus and left only a small contingent on the ship for defense. The Advent plan, according to intel picked up from Advent communications after the battle, was to use the Direnus as a sort of battering ram to bash through Alliance lines, and then use the ship as a forward operating base for their troops to board our flagship, which would have been your ship. That is why the Luminescent had only 2,100 Advent personnel while the Direnus had close to 4,500."

Shepard sighed.

"No wonder we were up against such stiff resistance. Thank you for telling me this."

"Now dear, are you surprised why Garrus and his team had so few casualties?"

"I suppose that makes sense." Shepard replied.

"I'm glad you see my reasoning, and I hope this puts your fears to rest. I love you, Kirk, and I hate seeing my husband suffer like this."

Kirk smiled.

"I love you too Miri. You complete me, did you know that?"

"Only since you first told me that you loved me." Miri batted her eyelashes.

Kirk laughed. He felt much better about everything, including what happened on the mission.

"So, Miri, how are you? I know it seems like we just talked but wow, it's been over a day since we talked! We haven't gone that long without talking since…"

"It's been too long to remember!" Miranda laughed. "I'm fine here at home; Liara helped me get the intel about the battle— she knew that you would want to see it. She even came over today after work to play with the kids! She also tells me that she met a man who she likes, so who knows? Maybe Liara will be a mother at some point in the future! Also, did you hear the news?"

"What news? Remember, I've been sleeping for the past thirty-something hours."

"Jacob and Kasumi are getting married! Jacob proposed to her today."

"Really? I didn't know they were dating. But I did know that Kasumi had a crush on Jacob for quite some time."

"Anyhow, we're invited to their wedding. Kasumi told me that they would wait until you got back to have the wedding, just so you would be there. Speaking of which, when are you coming home? I would assume that after the battle they would give you some time off."

"Hopefully I will be home soon. How are the kids?"

"They are fine, and when Jason heard that his father helped win a major victory over the Advent he couldn't help but brag to all his friends. On a side note, I got another call from the teacher."

"I bet that teacher is just jealous. When I come home I'll be sure to pay his class a visit."

"That would be great, honey! I am sure that Jason would love that!"

"Ok Miri, I'd better head to that debriefing soon. Talk to you later?"

"Of course!"

Miranda had a seductive look on her face.

"And maybe if you call after the kids are asleep then we can 'maintain our marriage,' if you know what I mean."

Kirk smiled.

"Then I'll be sure to call after you put them to bed."

"Looking forward to it. Good luck with the briefing."

"Thanks Miri. Love you!"

Miranda blew a kiss and the vid session ended.

Kirk got up from his bed, showered, donned his uniform, and headed to the debriefing.

_Miri understood my actions, _Kirk thought to himself._ But will the High Command do the same?_


End file.
